blog-apr-2021 - tracyward

5 April, 2021

Disconnect from your Shoulds
4 steps to change your shoulds into wants!

table on patio in garden  - achieve goals


Disconnect from your Shoulds
4 steps to change your shoulds into wants!

Did you know that your language has a huge impact on you and your emotions?
I would like you to think about how many times you say “should” each day either out loud or to yourself.

Should is one of the most common words in our vocabulary.
• “I really should finish this report”
• “I should go to the gym”.
• “I should wash the car”
• “I should cook the kids a healthy meal”
• “I should reply to my friend’s text”

When you use such words it creates a responsibility, a sense of burden and often we don’t even realise we are saying them. That then drives our actions and we find we are doing things that we don’t want to do, don’t enjoy and resent what you are doing and who you are doing it for.

Notice now when you say such an expression; how does it make you feel?
I remember a time when my children were young and my husband and I had gone away for an overnight stay in a lovely hotel and we had chosen it because of the facilities – a lovely swimming pool, spa and golf course.

Having played golf, we got back to the room and all I wanted to do was relax and sit with a cup of tea on the bed followed by a bath before dinner and yet I went for a swim because “I should make use of the facilities”. I didn’t enjoy the swim because that was not what I wanted to do and, in the end, I didn’t enjoy the dinner and the evening so much because I felt exhausted!

We so often run our lives on autopilot and allow the shoulds to rule our lives. Next time you find yourself saying I should explore your thinking with these 4 steps:

1) STOP – notice you have said should. Ask yourself is it a habit or obligation that makes you think should?
2) LOOK – assess your choices. Does it feel safer to do what you should rather than make an alternative choice?
3) LISTEN - ask yourself what would you like to do instead?
4) LEARN – what are the consequences if you do not follow through with the should?

Then you can make the decision based on your wants and the potential consequences.
As you become aware that you are assuming what others’ expectations are, you will make the right choices internally as you start saying no to the shoulds and yes to the wants.

 This in turn allows you to focus on your priorities, find more balance in your life and follow your passions and achieve the fulfilment you seek.

If you want further help to find balance and fulfilment in all areas of your life then as Your Catalyst For Change I can help you.

You can start by downloading my free Ebook to help create the balance that you crave. Download here

I help you gain CLARITY on what’s important, build CAPABILITY to overcome the challenges on the way and 
increase CONFIDENCE to take the steps to just do it!

I’m Tracy and I’m more than just a coach, I’m Your Catalyst for Change!

Tracy, Your Catalyst for Change


Call me today on 07443 634722 or to email me click here