How do you know you are doing a good job?
Are you wondering if you are doing a good job? How do you know?
Emotional posting alert!
A common problem in my clients is the desire for validation or feedback from others to let them know they have done a good job. Is that you? If it is you certainly are not alone.
If you read my previous blog entitled “You are Braver than you Believe” you will know that I am currently going through my mum's bereavement.
My friends know that I spent a lot of time hoping for and wanting my mum’s feedback to tell me she was grateful for what I did for her and that I was doing a good job to support her through her illness. Although, deep down I knew she thought it, I wanted to hear those words as I went through the rollercoaster ride of looking after a parent with a terminal illness.
In the last few days of her life, as I held her hand she said to me that I had done so well. She said she thought I had made such a success of my life, with my work, my husband and having brought up two boys to be polite and respectful young men. She also told me she was proud of me!
As she went through her last difficult days I did what I could to make her comfortable – I was really pushed out of my comfort zone and acted on instinct in a very difficult situation.
After she died, I realised that I would never get her validation or feedback on how I made her last few days comfortable and she would never be able to say thank you to me for doing such a good job. Similarly, she would not be able to say thank you for a wonderful funeral service or how proud she was that I stepped up to the front to say a personal final poem for her.
As I reflect on this, I realise that I already know I have done a great job because I know within my heart I could not have done anything more nor could I have done anything better with the resources I had at the time.
So next time you are worried about how well you are doing or you are perhaps waiting for the validation or feedback from someone else to tell you that you have done a good job, then take a moment to reflect. Consider everything you have done and think about how you would know inside your heart whether you have done everything you could do and as well as you could do.
Because if you have, then you WILL KNOW...You have done an amazing job!
If you are in such a situation in your life and want help to believe in yourself and your abilities, then please contact me for a free consultation to find out how I can help.
I’m Tracy and I’m more than just a coach, I’m Your Catalyst for Change!
Tracy, Your Catalyst for Change