3 Steps to Overcome the Fear of Change
What would you like to change?
We all have things in life that we would like to change. Whether it is what we eat, our fitness regime or the way we shout at the kids when they press that button. Yes, you know the button I’m referring to!
Change is such a simple word and yet sometimes it can be the hardest thing to do! When a habit is ingrained or one that you have followed for a long time, it can be very difficult to change that behaviour.
Think about when you get dressed. Which sock do you put on first or which leg do you put in your pants first? If you are not sure, notice it tomorrow and try to do the other leg. It seems so alien, doesn’t it? That’s because it’s a strategy that you have been employing for a long, long time.
If that is difficult imagine how difficult it can be for other behaviours or thinking habits that we have.
All of our behaviours serve an important purpose. You may not understand what that purpose is and that behaviour may be outmoded but there is always some form of benefit to us; a deeper emotional benefit. To be able to change behaviour, it is not enough to logically say “I must go to the gym” or “I’m going to stop eating cake” or “No more shouting at the kids” we need to find the emotional trigger to support you to change and ensure that the original purpose is still met.
Before you embark on any change ask yourself these 3 questions to aid success:
1. Why do I want to change?
Ask yourself what is the reason or purpose to change. You may think that it is obvious to want to be healthier (the logical reason) and then we miss the real emotional attachment for change. So ask yourself, how will it be when I have made this change – consider what will I see, what will I hear and what will I feel? How will I know that I have made the change successfully? What will others say to me? What will I be saying to myself?
2. What does the current behaviour do for me?
Ask yourself what do I enjoy about my current behaviour that I won’t be able to do? How could this current behaviour be of benefit to me or others around me? What am I not doing that I don’t want to do and would have to do if I changed my behaviour?
3. How can I make the change easier?
Ask yourself what one step can I take towards this change? What small steps can I take on the right path rather than a complete overhaul? Who can keep me accountable? Or even better, who can keep me company?
Once you have answered these questions carefully and honestly and once you embark on the journey of change, don't leave it to chance!
Remember the 3 P’s:-
Patience – We are a culture requiring instant gratification and so if we do not see the benefits immediately, we may give up. Remember change will only happen at the pace that is right for you. So be gentle on yourself and have compassion if there are a few slip ups on the way.
Persistence – If the change is worth doing, it is worth persisting. It can feel uncomfortable and when it feels like that, focus a little more on those feelings and as you start to accept that they are just feelings you will be amazed what you can learn about yourself. This will help you on your change journey.
Perseverance – It is natural for there to be setbacks and in those times notice the progress you are making rather than focus on the setback and consider your personal change as being about continuous improvement and moving closer to your goal every day.
So what do you want to change? What have you tried to change or have put off because it seems too difficult?
Remember, change can be easy. We change our underwear every day, don't we?
There is no magic wand but with the right purpose and motivation you can put change in motion and once you start and you notice the benefits and reap the rewards, it becomes easier and easier!
As YOUR Catalyst for Change , I can give you support to help you make a change. This can be via 121 Coaching or if you want to know more about the science behind the art, then my NLP Training, is for you.
My next NLP Discovery Day is on Thursday May 18th in Ipswich. You can find out more here.
NLP can be like that magic wand. As one of my previous delegates said "NLP is the wand that ignites the magic within YOU!"
I help you gain CLARITY on what’s important, build CAPABILITY to overcome the challenges on the way and
increase CONFIDENCE to take the steps to just do it!
I’m Tracy and I’m more than just a coach, I’m Your Catalyst for Change!
Tracy, Your Catalyst for Change