Don't be a Bad Egg; Take Respons-Ability for your Reactions! 

I was fuming! They made me so angry!

That was my initial reaction when a client didn't turn up for their appointment. When I messaged, the response I received was “I forgot. Sorry!”

* I was annoyed when they didn't arrive on time.
* I was frustrated with myself because I didn't send a reminder.
* I was fuming because I'd said I wasn't available to another client and I was particularly busy that week.

Years ago, before I learned about NLP, I would have let this continue to eat away at me. 
I would keep thinking about how they were disrespectful to me and it would impact not only my day at work but I would also take it home and think about when I went to bed and it would even stop me sleeping.
Then when we next met, my thoughts and frustrations would show through my demeanour.

This time I drew on my NLP knowledge and skills. I decided to take Repons-Ability and took a moment to reflect on what was really happening and came up with 3 different realisations:

1. It pressed one of my key value buttons. We are all accountable for our future; sometimes we need a little support”. Making a decision about their future was why they came for coaching and I believed that this client was not taking accountability for their future.
2. It was not just this one situation. It was the build up of a few different times where I felt my time wasn't valued. This situation was like pouring more water into an already full glass; it just overflowed.
3. It was a busy week with a squeezed diary that was putting me under stress because I was not living my truth of maintain balance in my life.

So, it was nothing to do with the client, it was all about me!

And this is what happens to all of us. It's not just that one episode that is the problem, but it's the other thoughts that go with it that causes the frustration etc.
With that awareness I could then use my skills to reframe my thinking in a far more positive way and opened my thoughts to other possibilities:

“The client must be in a much better position in life and taking accountability for their actions. Otherwise, they would be relying on their time with me to help them and would not miss the appointment.”
“I've done a great job helping them take accountability for their future that the need for coaching time with me is not at the forefront of their mind”.

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it!

In reframing my thinking I was able to have a little chuckle to myself about my reaction.

When the client next arrived, they were very sheepish, very apologetic and brought me a gift!

Changing our thinking and changing our perspective will change the way that we feel and how we react or choose to repsond.

If you want to learn Respons-Ability, then my next NLP Practitioner course is for you!

The more that we learn about what makes us tick, the more we learn about what drives our emotional behaviour and the more we can understand our reactions.  These are all skills you can learn when you become study to become a NLP Practitioner.

Matt Perks summed his NLP Practitioner experience perfectly;

“Consider what it would feel like to be able to manage your emotional state, get the most out of every interaction and use language that positively impacts you and around the people around you. That’s NLP!”


My next course starts soon. It is an amazing personal development experience taking you on a journey of learning about your Emotional Intelligence.
Come and join me to find out how you tick, how to manage your emotional state to build the right relationships and much, much more.

Then it is up to you to choose how to use your skill of Respons-Ability because that is when the magic happens.